Ursula Le Guin reviews a Salman Rushdie book in The Guardian. This is perhaps the best part.

Some boast that science has ousted the incomprehensible; others cry that science has driven magic out of the world and plead for "re-enchantment". But it's clear that Charles Darwin lived in as wondrous a world, as full of discoveries, amazements and profound mysteries, as that of any fantasist. The people who disenchant the world are not the scientists, but those who see it as meaningless in itself, a machine operated by a deity. Science and literary fantasy would seem to be intellectually incompatible, yet both describe the world; the imagination functions actively in both modes, seeking meaning, and wins intellectual consent through strict attention to detail and coherence of thought, whether one is describing a beetle or an enchantress. Religion, which prescribes and proscribes, is irreconcilable with both of them, and since it demands belief, must shun their common ground, imagination. So the true believer must condemn both Darwin and Rushdie as "disobedient, irreverent, iconoclastic" dissidents from revealed truth.

Because stupid is stupid...

...whichever way you cut it. Nestor Torre weighs in on Bb. Pilipinas and he's way off.

The point is, this was a beauty pageant, not a pictorial for a men’s magazine. Was this the show’s way of generating more viewership by titillating viewers? If so, it was misplaced, and ultimately a turn-off, because we felt that these lovely women deserved less exploitative treatment.

Because parading women in swimsuits to be judged by a stadium full of people on their looks isn't exploitative at all? It isn't a misplaced attempt. Sexing it up is the only way you can get straight men to watch the program. We sure ain't watching it for the gowns or for intelligent answers.

Which brings us to the WTF part of his review:

Still, the gleefully scathing reaction her stumbling answer got was uncalled for, and reveals how cynically shallow we can sometimes be.

It’s a good thing that the tilt’s jurors awarded Janina the Bb. Pilipinas-World title, despite her booboo. Anyway, when she competes abroad, she can always ask for an interpreter! As for some of us, we can belatedly ask for Janina’s pardon for reacting so gleefully to her all-too-understandable mistake.

This from the guy who collects "boob tube boo-boos."

Oh yeah. Heaven forbid we have standards. We weren't looking for brilliant, coherent would've been fine. To consider her stupidity an "all-too-understandable mistake" is a disservice to other beauty contest winners who have been able to answer questions properly in swimsuit and heels.

Tinawag mo pang Playboy...

RP Edition of Playboy out next week, sans frontal nudity.

It misses the point. Lad mags like FHM and Maxim were created to serve as a bridge between traditional men's mags like GQ and more risque ones like Playboy. If the local Playboy will just be an FHM clone, why bother?

Playboy revolutionized publishing by showing another side of whitebread America. If the local edition is afraid of the Catholic Church or of local mores, then they don't embody the spirit in which the mag was made.

And no, nobody buys the bullshit that one reads Playboy "for the articles." "The New Yorker" or "Mc Sweeney's" or "Wired" is smart, Playboy has titties.

Irony/Hypocrisy/Funny

I think the whole “Expelled from 'Expelled'” thing is a misfire on the part of the documentary's producers. The idea was to kick PZ Myers out, wait for him to fulminate in his blog, and spin it as “expellers get a taste of their own medicine.” What they didn't count on was two things: that Myers would laugh at the irony and that he brought Richard Dawkins with him.

Dawkins, author of “The God Delusion” and the face of militant atheism, was in town for an American Atheists convention and was invited by Myers to join him in watching. The producers recognized PZ (he registered his name on the invite) but failed to screen Dawkins, who presented his passport (with his full name: Clinton Richard) as identification. The result is an epic fail on the producers' part and has kept the secular interwebs alive and ROTFL during the easter weekend.

Had they simply let the two guys in and allowed them to lambast the documentary afterwards, there wouldn't have been much press coverage. Atheists would be snickering, having been able to sneak two big names in a screening they reserve for the faithful, and that's it. The film would be reviewed by the two and we would be laughing at the inanity of its premise. But no, they had to make a big deal out of PZ's attendance.

Now they've been featured in the New York Times unfavorably (again) and it isn't doing much for their reputations. They're not only liars for Jesus, they're also paranoid AND incompetent.

Rock Star

Now here's one lucky guy. His manager posts vids of his Journey covers on YouTube and half a year later he's touring with the band. Check out Arnel Pineda with Journey at a Chilean music festival looking every inch the rock star.

Faithfully
Open Arms
Don't Stop Believing

Fun fact: the guy who did the vocals for the singer Mark Wahlberg's character replaced in the movie "Rock Star" is Jeff Scott Soto, the guy Arnel replaced.

Satire. If you need to explain it...

Some people are just too dense to get satire.

Julie Po of the Concerned Artists of the Philippines misses the point of the Inquirer editorial "Lucky." In a letter to the editor she reacts and says that Arroyo is still in power because of various deals and abuses of power. To attribute this to "luck" is to resign ourselves to more of her.

Which is true. The Inquirer understands this, being an activist paper. What Po fails to understand is that the editorial was being facetious, playing off Joey Salceda's "lucky bitch" remark. It is saying exactly the opposite: that Arroyo's "luck" is just our inability to get our act together and kick her out. I thought the last couple of lines made that clear enough.

In any other country, a combination of corrupt deals like these would be enough to bring down a government. Here, we have protests and demonstrations, but so far that is all. Ms Arroyo must be one lucky President!

But we could only be so lucky.

Avenue Q: The Farewell Run

This is probably the most re-staged local musical theater production in recent memory (the record goes to "Once on This Island," I think). Get a load of puppets singing, swearing, and doing the nasty onstage (tastefully, under blankets). Avenue Q is back for the last time.

Directed by Bobby Garcia and Chari Arespacochaga, AVENUE Q features Carla Guevarra as Kate Monster/Lucy T. Slut, Felix Rivera as Princeton/Rod, Aiza Seguerra as Gary Coleman, Frenchie Dy as Christmas Eve, Rick Everley as Brian, Teenee Chan as Mrs. T and others and Joel Trinidad as Nicky/Trekkie Monster and others.

Set and Costume Design is by Mio Infante, Lighting Design by Jay Aranda, Musical Direction by IJ Garcia, and Puppet Execution by Samuel Fuentes and Marvin Choa based on Rick Lyons' original Broadway designs

Text me at 0917-3590459 to reserve tickets to the June 13 (opening night Friday), 8pm or June 14 (Sat) 8pm performances.

Ticket prices:
Orchestra Center: P1,300
Orchestra Side: P1,100
Loge: P1,000
Balcony: P500

Arthur C. Clarke, 90

"Clarke's First Law: When a distinguished but elderly scientist says that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he says it is impossible, he is very probably wrong. Clarke's Second Law: The only way to find the limits of the possible is by going beyond them to the impossible. Clarke's Third Law: Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."

SF Writer, inventor of the communications satellite, co-anchor during the moon landing, the last of the holy trinity to go (Heinlein 1988, Asimov 1992). Click below to read "The Nine Billion Names of God."

"Overhead, without any fuss, the stars were going out."

Can of worms

Brian Gorell will never get paid.

If what he says on his blog are true, then his ex and most of his gang aren't really rich (at least not Ayala-rich) and can't afford to wire $70K in cash anytime soon. He is unwilling to sue anyone in our courts and his only course of action is to keep demanding he get paid via his blog. Which is stupid.

The blog, while entertaining, totally misses the point. (If, of course, the point is to get paid back.) A threat, once executed, ceases being a threat. You can threaten to expose controversies if not paid but you can't honestly expect anything from them after you've let the cat out of the bag.

Seriously, what does he expect? Montano pays him and he retracts everything? Would any of the thousands of readers and commenters say "we're stopping now, Brian got paid?"

The can of worms* is opened to the delight of people (myself included) who loathe these socialites with a passion. Like Lozada Gorell is probably screwed. Let's just hope what they did results in something positive.

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*Who the heck cans worms?

Defending the habit

Fellow caffeine cravers, here's how to defend your addiction.

And it really is. Caffeine isn't just something we like very, very much. After building up a dependence you experience something like withdrawal symptoms when denied it. I turn lethargic and irritable (which is a really weird combination) if I go for over 24 hours without a cup of joe.

Unlike other addictions, though, this one is easier to kick. But why would I want to do that?

O RLY?

A van is reportedly going around provinces taking little kids' internal organs. As usual there are idiots who would believe a report they got from a forwarded text message. And there are even bigger idiots who pass off these rumors as fact.

The thing to ask is: what are they going to use the organs for? People requiring transplants are usually adults. And even then there are Filipinos more than willing to sell their kidneys for a few hundred thousand. Why would anyone need to drive around in a van risking kidnapping and murder charges when they can acquire what they need easily?

Truth isn't a consensus (no matter how much Philip K. Dick you read). Just because a lot of people claim it's true doesn't make it so. Always look for evidence.

Jokes are half-meant.

They're also better if half-true.

Watched a "Comedy Cartel" show the other day at mag:net Highstreet. The show was divided in two: the first half headlined by Tim Tayag, the other by Mike Unson. And while the headliners delivered the goods, the others were just so-so.

Which is understandable, the stand-up comedy scene here isn't developed yet. We need to have brave souls who will polish their material in front of live audiences while taking potshots from hecklers like myself.

The first few acts were terrible. The jokes just weren't funny. Or they would've been if delivered properly. As it was there were too many words and too few actual punchlines. An audience member (trying to entertain himself) kept shouting "tama na yan, mag-joke ka na."*

I think it's a matter of trying too hard to do a setup-punchline thing. It works if you're Letterman (with a team of writers) or Conan (whose apologies for his bad jokes are even funnier) or Mitch Hedberg (a master of paraprosdokian.), but not if you're a starting Pinoy stand-up affecting an American accent.

If I wanted to see an American-style comedian I'd watch the late night shows or pull up my Comedy Central downloads. What we need are people who will talk about the Filipino experience, the funny stuff that happens. Don't talk about a singles scene (picking up chicks at a bar, etc.) unless your crowd can relate to it. It just makes you look like you're copying Dane Cook.

Example: the comedian talks about a girl giving him the wrong phone number. He calls it and Jollibee answers. A heckler** (who is not amused) comments "di ka ba nagtaka nung ang ibinigay niyang number 8-7000?" The joke is lame because it's a variation of early 90s US jokes. What makes it more so is that nobody asks for a landline nowadays. Sheesh.

What went well with the audience (and that heckler) are the ones that could've been true. Jokes that are based on personal experiences that the audience is familiar with, too.

Alex Calleja was great. Speaking in Tagalog he went on a long rant about taxi drivers' antics. He had everyone in stitches because everyone in the crowd has experienced something similar. Mike Unson's spiel on how the MRT is superior to Hongkong's MTR (they can't even get the name right) was another belly buster. His impression of the bilingual MTR announcements and the MRT drivers was spot on. And his story about philandering friends is funny even without said friend in the audience (although that was a hoot).

So, will I watch them again? Probably. It can only get better.

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* Oo, ako yun.
** Ako ulit.

Pro-Arroyo youth call Lozada 'opportunist."

[Image ripped from somewhere. A threadbomb, I think.]

Mali pa rin eh

Sabi ni Melanie Marquez at least daw siya, mali lang ang Inggles pero tama naman yung sagot; si Janina San Miguel pati sagot mali. Kahit siguro sinunod niya yung payo ni Paolo Bediones na mag-Tagalog na lang eh sablay pa rin.

At siyempre hindi mawawalan ng mga taong magsasabi (sa kung saan-sang blog at message board) na "don't judge her." Kung 'di ba naman kayo bobo't kalahati (magsama-sama nga kayo), eh nasa contest siya. Nandun siya talaga para husgahan. At nandito tayo para husgahan ang mga inampalan na nagpapanalo sa kanya.

Dalawa lang ang solusyon para hindi matuloy ang pagsali nya sa Ms. World. Ang una ay mag-step down siya. Pero asa pa tayo, feeling ko may pagka-GMA sa kapit-tuko ito. Ang pangalawa ay ang madis-qualify siya. Mangyayari iyan kapag siya'y nabuntis.

Magbo-volunteer na ako para sa #2. Para sa bayan.

Again, missing the point

On TV Patrol yesterday a spokesperson for PISTON expressed doubts over the signing of EO 712, which is part of the deal public transport groups made with the government. He claims it was only done to appease them.

Well, duh. Isn't that the point of a strike, to get government/management to accede to your demands by withholding your services?

One year to midnight

I think I just wet myself. The publicity stills of the characters in the Watchmen film are up on Zack Snyder's promo blog and they look sweet. As a fan here are my obligatory rants (and the fanwanking:)

- Silk Spectre? More like Latex Spectre to me. But it works. Malin Ackerman looks like a more feminine Lucy Lawless.

- Nite Owl is supposed to be an analog of Blue Beetle, not Batman. That said, is that a paunch I see? (squeee)

- The Comedian and Rorshach look spot on.

- Where is Dr. Manhattan?

- Ozymandias looks like a reject from Schumacher's "Batman and Robin."

Anyway, the graphic novel is nigh untranslateable to film. It has too many tricks based on printed, sequential art, and deconstructs the superhero books of that time so much that the only solution would be to create a slightly different monster for the screen. Snyder seems to be gunning for that by not-too-subtly referencing superhero movies.

Oh well, here's to a year more of waiting.

The point of rallies

The most forwarded column in inquirer.net is Dolly Anne Carvajal's “Dollywood.” A far second (by about 10 to1) is Conrad de Quiros's “There's the Rub.” Hovering close would probably be Manolo Quezon (MLQ3, from whom I got this bit of trivia) most likely because of his internet presence and because he's a voice of my generation of internet-savvy professionals.

Near the bottom of this list (I assume) are the guys in the inside pages (excluding the lifestyle section). These are the columnists who hardly get read or have a cult following. Of these my favorite is Honesto General, mainly because I have never agreed with anything he has written. His opinions almost always miss the point. And when he does make a point, it's almost always the one opposite mine.*

Take his latest one, for example, which recounts his negative impression of the Makati rally last Friday.

He doesn't differentiate between the actual “hakot” and the masa who sympathize but don't have money to bus themselves to the rally point. Attending a rally requires logistics. And while the Lasallistas and Assumptionistas who were there had their own cars and can afford makati parking rates, the poor folk need a bit more assistance. It takes money just to show up, something the poor (by definition) have very little of.

What bothers me is his insinuation that everyone there who was wearing tsinelas was a “mercenary.” He made no mention of talking to any of them, no pretext of objectivity, just the assumption that anyone dressed that way and milling around was hakot. He may be correct regarding the bused crowd, but his tone just smacks of elitism and a general disdain for anyone who doesn’t dress like him.

And the confetti. He calls the confetti “fake” because the high rise buildings were empty. This information he got from vendors, who told him that business was slow despite the thousands of people.

I don’t know where he gets his idea but people just don’t throw confetti out of buildings spontaneously.** It’s prepared. Does he expect office workers to suddenly shred documents and shove them out the window? Second, a guard would be a better person to ask regarding a building’s occupants. He can’t blame people who brought baon for the poor sales of vendors. Heck, he shouldn’t blame anyone; the rally isn’t there to increase the sale of street food.

But the biggest mistake he makes is assuming that the inter-faith rally was intended to become EDSA 4 (Ayala 1?), leading to a regime change. It seems he believes that rallies must have immediate results and that protesters should not go home until they get what they want. (To be fair, some of the younger rally-goers think this way, too.)

Which entirely misses the point. You can't criticize something for not doing what it didn't intend to do in the first place. [That, kids, is what's called a “straw man argument.”]

A rally is a statement of solidarity, a roll call of how many people actually support the cause. Whether 10, 20, or 80 thousand, what's important is that a great number of people considered the issue worthy enough to spend an afternoon out in the streets. In fact, if he stayed until the end of the program he would've heard the host telling the people to go home (next time na lang). No one was planning to stay there overnight until GMA steps down.

* * * * *

I read General the same way we all slow down to look at a traffic accident. A sense of morbid fascination combined with a bit of shadenfreude. I am simultaneously appalled and entertained by his non-sequiturs and faulty reasoning (and his conservative stance) and am thankful I think and write a little bit better.

[I even wonder sometimes if it's a pseudonym, because it describes the column perfectly. The guy is just being honest in telling everyone the generalizations he draws.]

It just irks me that the leading newspaper spends money and space on what can best be described as an old fogey’s blog entries.

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*I say “almost always” just to cover my bases; maybe we have taken a similar position before.
** Even during Ninoy’s funeral. We prepared confetti to throw down the street back then. By we I mean the people in my parents’ office; I was just a happy six-year-old throwing stuff out the window.

Cheap and tiny

Am posting this using my new EEEPC, which I am falling in love with. Seriously, we're sleeping together now.*

The problem with Moore's Law coupled with a consumer-driven economy is that the goal will always be to make something bigger, better, and faster, rendering the previous incarnation obsolete. Chipmakers and software developers virtually colluded to bring about faster chips to run increasingly complex programs and increasingly complex programs to take advantage of the faster chips.

Only recently has this trend been halted, mainly because the machines we have are fast enough to handle pretty much anything we throw at it. Outside of animation, large graphics, and 3D rendering (and games, of course) the basic user who just surfs and watches videos and types documents and spreadsheets has no need for two processor cores.

The Asus Eee PC is a market-changing device that takes advantage of Moore's Law and the decreasing cost of production to lower its price. The idea is simple: remove the hard disk and DVD drive, make the thing as small and light as possible (while still having a full keyboard) and sell it for half the price of regular notebooks. Then install open source Linux that uses less resources and fill it with the usual stuff that people use (word processor, spreadsheet, media player). Voila! A lightweight, tiny machine that does more than what your computer ten years ago did, while costing less than your cellphone. Weighing about a kilogram, it's as big as a hardback book. It fits in a small bag and won't remove the spring from your step.

It has its drawbacks, of course. The keyboard is serviceable but touch typists can't type full speed on it. The right hand shift key is too small and too near the enter key. The trackpad is a bit limited and acts up (as does the single click button). Nothing that can't be solved by some practice and a USB mouse.

Anyone who is always on the move and needs little more than a web browser, a text editor, and some spreadsheet software needs to get one of these. Quit breaking your backs, ultraportables will get cheaper and better thanks to this.

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*I play a round of Frozen Bubble before sleeping.

Orosman at Zafira: komedya as cool

Now THAT is a show!

Dulaang UP’s “Orosman at Zafira” takes the komedya (remembered by most people my age as a Bulwagang Gantimpala production at the old Metropolitan Theater) and thrusts it forward a century and a half into the present. Like Rep’s “Hamlet” it retains the original verse, which presents some difficulty for people not used to hearing the language of Balagtas. Old Tagalog in dactylic hexameter*, anybody?

But it all works thanks to a brilliant decision to focus on dance.

You may not be able to understand all the words in the talasalitaan but the choreography speaks volumes. From signature moves for each kingdom / tribe to the spectacular war scenes – 3 of them, with around 40 people on a small stage** – dance defines this production. “OZ” takes traditional komedya moves and merges them with a hip-hop aesthetic reminiscent of “Stomp.” Like its music, the dances are an amalgamation of traditional ethnic moves and modern steps.

But wait there’s more. The production design is inventive. From the movable walis tingting trees to multiple entrances onstage, the production’s entire look is a world straight out of Greek tragedy with a distinctly Filipino feel. But what impressed me the most was the use of instruments as prop weapons – kubing are daggers, bungkaka are swords, rainmakers are spears, and a kudyapi is contorted into a bow. It adds to the surreal look but also allows each actor to contribute to the music. This culminates in the major characters rocking out with their signature instruments in the final war scene / production number.

The material has its flaws, though. Orosman as a character is underdeveloped, as is his romance with Zafira. He comes off as weak, like Paris pining for Helen, when he’s supposed to be a Romeo willing to risk his family’s ire for the woman he loves. But the rest of the production makes up for this.

Besides, the flaws lead to unexpected strengths. A wimpy male lead underscores the strength of the women, with Zafira giving off a Mulan / Joan of Arc vibe. Maita Ponce plays her with a certain angas (spunk) accentuated by a Tina Turner stance.

The music is ethnic rock, and while pop-attuned ears may find it difficult to appreciate at first, the melodies do get to you eventually. By the end of the production you’ll find yourself stomping and clapping to the beat in a curtain call that is part celebration and part encore.

The show will run for another weekend. Let’s hope they re stage it later this year, preferably at a bigger venue. I don’t mind pricier tickets, it’s going to be worth it.

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* As far as I can tell; I wasn’t counting syllables and identifying stresses in the middle of the show.
** The fact that no one tripped and no eyes were poked out is an achievement in itself.