Shame is relative

So Dubya makes a remark that is downright offensive and is getting blasted (as is usual) on HuffPost. Americans and some Pinoys are saying great stuff like:

I can't wait until Bush tells Felipe Calderón that he's reminded of the great talent of Mexican-Americans every time he walks across the White House lawn.

Basically they're thinking:

He doesn't even know how condescending he is. This is embarrassing. For eight years we've had to let this jerk embarrass us. I'm so sick of that feeling - I get it whenever he starts opening his mouth and making words.

And they're praising GMA for being tactful:

Arroyo was way more diplomatic than I ever could have been. I'm torn between being impressed with her ability to shrug it off and disappointment that she didn't stare at him blankly and ask him if he'd been dropped on his head as a child.

But this is what's going to blow their minds: GMA probably thinks it's a compliment, too. And her staff, who have been shamelessly chasing Obama on her behalf, will try to spin it that way.

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via In A Jaded World

Two hits are better than one

Spinner.com recently featured a list of "Two-Hit Wonders," musical artists who have had two songs in the US Top 40. The title and the tone of the article implies that these are just people who are one song better than the usual flash in the pan.

Which is a great disservice to artists like Crowded House and Whitesnake, who, while having technically only two hits, still have had long careers and a large fanbase. Not hitting the Top 40 doesn't mean not hitting at all. There are specialized charts tracking music that caters to more specific tastes.

Suzanne Vega has been featured and reacts in the NYTimes. Interesting piece, especially the part discussing the songwriting process for "Luka."

Show-buying explained

Some of you have been asking about the theater shows I post on the sidebar.

I do not sell tickets to all shows. And of the shows I do sell, not all dates are available through me. I am not a producer nor am I directly associated with ticket agents like Ticketworld or Ticketnet. What I am, together with my partners in ticket2me.net, is a show buyer.

We buy entire nights of theater shows at discounted rates and re-sell them to you. Some of the seats we hold on to, others we consign with the ticket agents mentioned above. It's not a full-time job, and I doubt if anyone can actually make a decent living off unpredictable yet not very high-yielding investments. I have toyed with the idea but the figures just don't add up. Perhaps when we have a really stable Philippine theater market.

But then again if the market is stable, there would be little need for us.

Show buyers benefit theater producers in three ways. First, we provide them cash by paying for the tickets in advance. This cuts into their profits a little but they get their money sooner. Second, we absorb some of the risk. By paying for a show in full, we are making sure that they earn something even if the show (or just that particular night) flops. Last, and perhaps most importantly, we help push the product. As people who literally have something invested in it, we become their top agents, reminding friends and family to watch.

A mature market like West End or Broadway needs no push other than good reviews or big stars, which takes care of #3. 1 and 2 are unnecessary if the producers earn enough or have good enough numbers to get loans. Small-time investors like me are more trouble that we're worth in a stable theater market.

But until that happens, tuloy ang ligaya. We can keep buying good shows and offering you good seats.

George Carlin 1937-2008

My favorite Carlin routine

Think about it.

Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!

But He loves you.

Joe bless you, George.

Feeling important

And the post yesterday reminded me of something from the old mailing list. I think people who expect everyone to accept their tardiness just have an overblown sense of self-importance. Or they're idiots.

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Feeling important
12 February 2003


No sir, you're not that important.

This goes through your mind whenever motorcycle cops escorting some government official or another stop you. It's fine if it's the President or the VP; their positions deserve a modicum of respect and honor, but a city councilor or some other minor official has no right to hold up traffic like an ambulance or a fire truck.

No ma'am, you're not that important.

I was tempted to tell this to the lady behind me at the cinema the other day. Just like the minor official who uses a siren and bike cops, some people just think too highly of themselves. (Or maybe they're just plain dumb)

Before each screening there are reminders in every cinema to TURN OFF YOUR CELLPHONES while watching the movie, or at least switch to silent mode. During plays someone even announces this onstage. Yet in the middle of a scene there will be that irritating "incoming text message" beep or worse, a ringing tone (Asereje, ja, de je...).

We're Filipinos, which today almost automatically means we're experts in any form of mobile technology, yet people just inconveniently forget how to switch to silent mode whenever they're in theatres. Some even inconveniently forget that they brought their cellphones with them, keeping that ringing tone ringing until they manage to rummage through their handbags (We are the cheeky girls...)

And after finding the damn phone, they have the gall to answer the call, speaking out loud as if they're talking to someone five feet away!

I was watching "Hero" last Sunday afternoon and just as the film reached its climax (Nameless is deciding whether to kill the king or not) and everyone was silent, a cellphone behind me rings. (The smile on your face lets me know...)

I look behind me, irritated and she pays no heed (probably because it was dark) to my scowl. She rummages through her handbag until she finds her phone. (Nameless was already flying through the air) She then answers the damn thing in a regular conversational tone (Oo. Nandito kami sa sine. Magkita tayo mamaya...).

Would it have killed her to drop the damn call and wait until the movie was over? Or maybe step out to answer it in the lobby? Was the call that important to merit spoiling the movie for everyone around her?

From what I overheard, it wasn't that big a deal. It's not like she was brokering some multi-billion peso contract or dealing with a life and death situation. She was an inconsiderate idiot whose equally inconsiderate (and probably also idiotic) friend called up to ask how she was.

At least those government officials, no matter how minor, serve me in some way or the other and have the traffic cops to warn us beforehand. She, without warning on a lazy Sunday afternoon just spoiled my fun in watching a good movie, all because her friend wants to chat.

No one is that important.

The Doctor is In?

Ripped off the interwebs.

"There's a special place in hell...

... reserved for child molesters and people who talk in the theater."
-- Shepherd Meriah Book, "Firefly"

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I can not understand people who come in late for the theater.

With tickets costing in the thousands, the last thing I'd want is to miss anything. And you can't just pro-rate the costs; missing the opening number detracts from the entire experience. In a medium where plot points are sung and danced, not seeing a musical number amounts to a lot of plot lost.

Unlike TV shows with their recaps and movies that you can watch again, a theatrical performance is more interactive. It involves the audience in ways that someone used to films can miss. Actors play off an audience's reactions and can get distracted by a noisy or aloof one. In rare cases the performance on both sides is so great that it makes for an excellent show, a unique viewing experience.

So the idiot who comes in late and disturbs other audience members is not only doing himself a disservice, he's bothering the actors, too. The entire experience is affected by the dozens who are inconsiderate enough to think that whatever else it is they're doing is more important.

Sad thing is, the point is lost on many of them.

Trickle down

There's nothing wrong with public school teachers selling longganisa or Avon products or tutoring kids. The problem is when they do this in school. What Norma Dollaga claims as dignified, honest, and creative becomes embarrassing, coercive, and trite when done within the school premises. Homeroom period becomes "selling time," depriving students of that extra hour or so needed to discuss class business.

The bigger problem is when the teachers force the kids to buy. Ask any public school parent and they will tell you about teachers requiring kids to buy merienda from them or withholding test papers until the purchase whatever it is they're selling.

The Department of Education issued a memo years ago allowing teacher's associations to own school cafeteria coops to augment their salaries. This has since morphed into teachers requiring all students to buy meals from them regardless whether they bring their own baon or not.

Teachers' salaries are, indeed, very low, but calling their illegal and unethical stop-gap measures "dignified, honest, and creative" reeks of reaching. Blame the government or the economy, but don't praise these oppressed teachers for passing down the oppression to their poorer students.

Brown humor

At a luncheon attended by businessmen and military leaders Peter Wallace made a joke about the Glorietta explosion, which the top brass did not like. The joke was funny (Filipinos having the most explosive shit in the world) but the follow-ups (according to the report) less so.

It's not a case of racism, just bad comedy.

Wallace should've stopped at the first joke. The only reason to repeat a theme, ad nauseam, is when the audience is still lapping it up. Diminished laughter means you should quit while you're ahead.

Che's Children

Reading about Che Guevara's children and their dismay at the commercialization of their father's likeness reminded me of something I wrote some four years ago.

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Losing significance
27 November 2004


No, Che Guevara is not the lead singer of Rage Against the Machine, neither is he a rock musician. Sadly a lot of kids seem to think he's one or the other, especially the ones who just bought the t-shirts because they looked cool.

Blame RATM, pioneering rap-metal band (yes, there were bands like them and Faith No More before Linkin Park and Korn) espousing left-wing politics, for releasing a tour shirt featuring Che's mug. Blame the counterfeiters for mass-producing these and distributing them everywhere – from American Boulevard stores in shopping malls to Paco Public Market. Heck, blame an educational system that produces kids who don't know their historical figures or a pop culture that encourages conformity without question.

The modern t-shirt is a medium for communicating ideas. From jokes and punchlines (like "Smokers don't grow old, they die young" or the classic "I'm with stupid") to sports teams' insignia, the contents of t-shirts say a lot about the wearer. Shirts that show school emblems or organizational logos proudly declare the wearer's affiliation, while those with emblazoned statements are assumed to reflect the wearer's opinion.

So it's mildly annoying for me to see people wearing stuff they know nothing about. I remember back in the early 90s when even lolas who sold tuyo at public markets wore the yellow and black Sepultura shirts or Pearl Jam "Alive" shirts (the one with the stick figure) beneath their aprons. Of course one seriously doubts any of them are really fans of the said bands. Same goes for kids who wear baseball caps of baseball teams none of them have ever heard of.

But that's just fine. The designs probably caught their eye. It's not like they're posing as rock music or baseball fans. But the Che Guevara thing is slightly more irritating since it verges on the political. His face is a symbol of struggle so it seems out of place on some guy who just happens to like a stylized rendition of a mustachioed face with a beret. What's worse is seeing it on some coño kid driving an expensive car while listening to his iPod (the very thing Guevara is against) or a jolog who thinks Che is a Pinoy rock icon (which is just plain stupid).

What's sad is that the intention of the original shirt designer has been weakened. From a decidedly political message it has been watered down to something that's merely "cool." Like the Dalai Lama, Che has been turned into a pop icon whose significance lies mostly on the fact that his face is on t-shirts everywhere.

Direct selling

I called it [let me look for the linky to my old blog / mailing list].

Music artists are eschewing record labels and selling their stuff directly to their audiences. In a move that is similar to what Radiohead or Nine Inch Nails are doing, some US acts have struck a deal directly with Wal-Mart to sell their self-produced albums. And while this may not stem the tide of file sharing and piracy, it ensures that more money goes into the artists' pockets.

The rift between artists and those of us who download or buy pirated discs is an artificial one concocted by the middlemen who make the most money out the deal. And while they were necessary in producing vinyl records and CDs up until the mid 90s, they are slowly becoming as irrelevant as stagecoach drivers in the digital age. When recording a decent album can be done in one's bedroom and the tracks sold via websites, the need for a large company to market and distribute music diminishes.

It isn't the "root"...

... but it hardly helps.

Jose Romero writes "Population Not Root Cause of Philippines' Woes" in response to Ernie Pernia's commentary "RP Food Crisis Not Simply A Supply Problem" and manages to set up and strike down a strawman. Romero notices the last part critiquing the Catholic Church's population policy and creates a phantom argument to demolish.

In his article Pernia does not say that a large population is the "root" of the problem, he simply implies that it doesn't help. Which is true. His "back of the envelope" calculations say (heck, common sense will) that if we were able to keep our population down we wouldn't be needing this much rice. Hence the title of his article. Demand is something we need to keep in check, too.

The best way to think about population is in the micro level. A couple with two kids can survive on much less than a family of six or eight. This means less pressure for the parents to earn more or more rewards if they do. In other words, the janitor isn't poor because he has six kids; he is poor because he earns minimum wage. His six kids prevent him from rising from his poverty because their demand always exceeds his supply.

Of course economists from the UA&P will argue, as Romero does, that a large population can drive growth as in the case of China. But that just begs the question: why isn't it happening to us right now?

Our hypothetical janitor may potentially have six college graduates to help him in his old age but that's only if he manages to get them in school in the first place; something nigh impossible with less than 10K a month. The Philippines' large population can drive growth but only if we are able to prepare them properly. Something we find hard to do because our population is large.

Consuelo de bobo

Today's Inquirer editorial tells us that the critical panning "Serbis" received in Cannes isn't that big a deal; what's important is we're in competition.

To be included in the Cannes competition is already an honor; getting positive reviews and winning an award are just icing on the cake. To be sure, “Serbis” consolidates the reputation of Philippine cinema as the most exciting in Southeast Asia. Other cinemas in the region can’t lay claim to having been screened thrice in competition at Cannes.

Which is how Filipinos take bad news. Notice that even the worst tragedy can be interpreted as a blessing when contrasted with an even more terrible scenario. A guy who lost a foot would be consoled by saying "buti isang paa lang," a guy who loses both feet would be told "pasalamat ka may kamay ka pa," while someone who loses all limbs should take comfort in the fact that he's still alive.

Mendoza's "Serbis," is being compared to Vincent Gallo's "The Brown Bunny" (2003), which also triggered walkouts and featured a gratuitous oral sex scene that, five years later, is the only thing worth rewatching. And while Mendoza can take pride in the fact that his is the first Filipino film in 25 years to get in competition, Gallo probably still gets a kick out of convincing Chloe Sevigny to give him head onscreen.

But for me a Palm D'Or isn't the goal. What's more important is affecting global pop culture. "Gojira" and "Dragonball" are as culturally valuable to Japan as Kurosawa's films. I'd rather have people watching Filipino films the way we (and the west) consume Hong Kong cinema.

Which is why I think "The Echo" is more significant. Yam Laranas's Hollywood remake of his own film is charming audiences and will help promote Philippine cinema more. It may not be high art, but it's art nonetheless, and it's something more people like.

It's bad for the clients, too

When we discuss product endorsements in my advertising classes my students usually ask about the process: how an endorser is chosen, how much do they get, when do they stop, etc. I tell them that everything depends on the advertiser / ad agency and the talent but it usually involves making sure that the potential endorser plays well to the target market.

Kim Chiu and Gerald Anderson, for example, endorse products aimed at teens because they appeal to the demographic. Regine Velasquez pitches for Wow Magic Sing because the ones supposed to buy those are songbird wannabes. On the other hand I do not know why Manny Pacquiao is endorsing the competing brand. Perhaps they wanted someone who can't sing that well because a bigger market identifies with it. Pacquiao endorsing Alaxan, though, is perfect. No one has more authority to talk about pain relievers than someone who gets beat up for a living.

Then there are mega endorsers like Judy Ann Santos, Aga Muhlach, and Kris Aquino, who can endorse pretty much anything and drive up sales. And while their initial popularity was what made them good endorsers, one can't help wondering if their subsequent endorsement deals were due to the fact that they became more ubiquitous on ads and billboards.

Which is what the politicians are banking on when they become product endorsers. Yesterday's Inquirer editorial and Conrad de Quiros's column tackle the issue and say that while it may be legal, it definitely is unethical.

And not just from a "flaunting of election law" perspective. It's unethical for advertising agencies to approve such endorsers or recommend them to clients when they clearly don't play well to the target market. Mariel Rodriguez endorsing beauty products fits with the public image of her (as a pretty person) but Ping Lacson? C'mon.

And why the heck would Mar Roxas (the talking, dancing surfboard) be even considered for a detergent commercial? I rolled my eyes when Sharon or Winnie Monsod endorsed detergent (Seriously, when was the last time they washed their own clothes?), I almost glimpsed my brain when I saw the Tide ad.

In the political ad panel I wrote about a few weeks back Yoly Ong of Campaigns and Grey was asked regarding the process of choosing product endorsers from among politicians. She said that for her firm she makes sure the person appeals to the target, implying that other image handlers may not be as honest with their clients as she.

* * * * *

Today Manny Villar is proposing to censor sexy billboards, saying they lead to accidents and prurient thoughts. Screw that. Believe me, I'd take Maja Salvador half naked over Bayani Fernando's mug anytime. Heck I'd take Ding Dong's ding dong over any of those other dicks.